Matches don’t last forever. And when one suddenly disappears from your view it can mean the unthinkable has happened — you’ve been unmatched. The horror. The best case scenario for you is that the person has simply left Tinder, but when you start to notice a pattern you need to take a closer look. There’s usually a reason why you’re getting unmatched. Sometimes it’s you, and sometimes it’s them, but either way? Knowledge is power.

Whether you got unmatched before the conversation started, unmatched mid-tirade on global warming, or unmatched after you exchanged numbers, it can be a blow to one’s self-esteem. Yes, you can make an educated guess if you’re the cause of said rejection, but either way, getting the brush-off is not always a bad thing. You can’t help it if someone just simply isn’t into you anymore. I’ve been unmatched after answering a question on religion — apparently, that person wasn’t into atheists. I’ve been unmatched because my dark sense of humor fell flat on the other person. Was the joke worth it? A hundred percent. We want you to be unapologetically you, but also want you to be aware of what types of behavior can send your matches running for the hills.

Listen carefully and you just may gain more matches than you’ve lost.

1. You give one-word answers.

No one is on Tinder to find a personal dentist, yet here they are pulling teeth to have a conversation with you. If you’re putting down one-word answers, you’re telling your matches you aren’t that interested — whether you mean to or not. Take a beat and write a thoughtful response because one-way conversations are a total snooze-fest.  

2. You have no chill.

Waking up to 15 messages from someone isn’t romantic — it’s the equivalent of you waving a red flag with the word creepy on it. While your enthusiasm has not gone unnoticed, sending a series of messages before the other person has had a chance to respond makes you seem overbearing and controlling. Give your matches room to breathe. Being smothering isn’t sexy.

3. You sent a dick pic.

If no one asked to see your dick, then no one wants to see your dick — I promise you. If you were unmatched coincidentally after sending a sexually explicit photo via text then consider yourself lucky: This type of behavior goes against our Community Guidelines; you could and should get banned for it. It doesn’t matter if the explicit photo happened off the app. And by the way, eggplant emojis used inappropriately on the app are also a no-no. It doesn’t matter how sexy your match’s photos were or how flirtatious the conversation has gotten; if you don’t have consent you should trust that the other person isn’t interested in seeing your package. P.S.: Now you’ve ruined all chances that they ever will be.

4. You took too long to answer.

Look — you’re a fuckin’ prize. And people are ecstatic when they match with you. But if you don’t respond within a couple of days, they may get in their feels and unmatch you. This is essentially someone throwing a tantrum because you aren’t paying attention to them. Personally, I say good riddance to them. As an average user, 72 hours should be your window to respond to a message, but if you’re taking a week people are going to unmatch you to preserve their pride. “I took a chance on you and you rewarded me with silence!?” Yes, it’s a thing.

5. Your match went rogue.

It’s hard to predict when your match will get back together with their ex or have an existential crisis that leads them to vanish from the world of dating apps and social media. Try not to take it to heart — people move on for various reasons completely out of your control. Whether they’ve deleted the app or unmatched you because they had second thoughts, it’s not always about you. Move on because it’s their loss.

6. Your game needs work.

Breaking news: You are not Migos, and even though you may very well be the shit, if you come on too strong you’re going to scare people away. Don’t get into all of your personal business immediately. Take it slow and you’ll be able to overshare over drinks instead of a chat screen. Oh, and do not attempt to have an entire convo in emojis — you’re better than that.