Social distancing (read: very important, please stay home if you are able) has been hard on all of us. Attempting to maintain some sort of normal routine coupled with the unknown is difficult, as is staying in close contact with friends and family. Add in trying to keep things going with people we were seeing or went on a few dates with before this all happened, and it’s…a lot. Still, it’s clear we need to connect digitally more than ever before, and some of us may want something (anything!) to think about, dwell on, and talk about other than coronavirus.
If you want to give yourself a break from the news while talking to someone you’re into, try texting them one of these things that requires minimal effort on your part.
1. All of my coworkers have cool Zoom backgrounds. What should I make mine?
2. [Shot of a hard-but-not-too-hard-to-identify movie scene] Guess what I’m watching?
3. I just found out that baby carrots are just chopped-up and mashed large carrots. They are the pigs in a blanket of vegetables, and I don’t feel good about it.
4. Just had Cool Ranch Doritos for breakfast. Am I…a hero? 🤔
5. My legs hurt from sitting on the couch. Do I a) sit through the pain or b) get up and do some kind of stretch?
6. How is every board game on backorder? I’m hurt.
7. I need your help deciding what to have for lunch. Go to your emojis and blindly choose one from the food category. Whatever you land on, that’s what I’m gonna (attempt to) get.
8. Choose your fighter, early ’00s classic edition: Elle Woods or Andie Anderson?
9. Should I rewatch “Parks and Rec” for the 17th time or try to start a new show?
10. What’s your highest number of pajama outfit changes in one day? Mine’s three.
11. Is it just me or does Squidward’s shell phone actually look like a croissant? Maybe I’m just hungry, but the resemblance is uncanny.
12. Just spent $50 on coloring books. How’s your day?
13. I’m at my parents’ house, and my childhood bedroom is a nauseating Pepto-Bismol pink. Should I break my back and paint it or slowly slip into madness?
14. What drink should I bring to my office’s Zoom happy hour?
15. Have you seen that 10-pushup Instagram challenge? My friend just nominated me, and she must not know me very well because there’s no way I can do that, let alone document it.
16. The only games I have in my house are as follows: Trouble, subtraction flashcards from fourth grade, and Life. Which one should I play?
17. Wanna FaceTime? I’ll wear my finest sweatpants.
18. [Literally any meme that is relevant to you/them]
19. I’m bidding for puzzles online because they’re sold out everywhere. How much is too much for a nativity scene? 🧐
20. Should I wear my grey sweat outfit or my black sweat outfit for my one-on-one virtual check-in with my boss today?
21. Did you see [insert celeb]’s live stream last night?
22. [Any picture of your pet if you’re with it — response guaranteed or your money back]
23. I feel like I should order Gushers. I should order Gushers, right?
24. My friends are doing a virtual happy hour tonight. Do you and a couple of your friends wanna join? BYOB, obviously.
25. Should we plan a fun hang for when we’re allowed?
26. Got any book recs? Just finished “Shoe Dog” after everyone in the world telling me I had to read it.
27. [Pic of the meal you just made] *chef kiss*
28. Fun fact: my coworker, who I will call Karen, loudly chewing gum on calls is just as annoying as when she did it next to my desk.
29. I’m so bored that I’ve resorted to looking at all the random emojis. What do you think this one is? 🔖