I feel like there’s an unspoken rule that whoever texts first — whether it’s before the first or after the 17th date — gives up power. But power is a social construct designed to make us feel bad. (Sad!) And, hey you guys, it’s 2019 — we have more important things to agonize about than who sends what message when. Since I think we’d all benefit from not worrying about this any longer, I present you with some mic-droppable logic as to why you should just hit send.
1. Because there’s nothing left to watch on Netflix
2. Because no one else is answering you
3. Because you need to kill some time while you wait for your food to arrive
4. So you don’t have to be the only one of your friends not on their phone at the table
5. Because you don’t know what else to do with your hands
6. Because you need an excuse to procrastinate
7. Because your thumbs need a good stretch
8. Because your phone game of choice isn’t that fun right now
9. Because you saw something that reminded you of them
10. Because you didn’t see something that reminded you of them, but you want to pretend like you did
11. Because grow up!
12. Because they sent the last text and that’s kind of the rules
13. Because you have something to say and you’re going to say it
14. Because you just got service back and you must seize the moment
15. Because you want to see them again
16. Because you’ll probably get too impatient if you wait for them to do it first
17. Because you think you saw an alien and that’s a reason in itself to text anyone at anytime
18. Because it’s not like they’re going to Tweet about you sending the first text — that’d be weird
19. Because it’s just letters that get sent through towers or some shit
20. Because their reaction definitely won’t be, wow, they sent me the first text, so embarrassing for them
21. Because this probably won’t matter a week from now
22. Because you decide you’d rather not waste more of your precious and limited time on this earth thinking about sending them a text so you should just get it over with
23. Because who! cares?
24. Because I told you to!