It’s been a half hour since your agreed-upon meetup time, your check-in texts have gone unanswered, and you’re pretty sure you’re on your own tonight. The bad news is your date probably isn’t showing up. The good news? You’ve still got a whole evening ahead of you, and you’re already wearing your flattering jeans — which means you can still show up in these seven ways.
1. Get some free dinner.
All that unrequited thumb exercise sure can make you hungry. No matter if you were meeting at a bar or cafe. Head to the nearest $$$ restaurant, make sure to ask for a central table, and spend at least 30 minutes scanning the room and checking your phone. Look very depressed and sad so as to cause people around you speculate. When the waiter comes to ask you if a second person is joining, loudly say that you guess you’ll be dining alone (wipe your eye with your napkin for dramatic effect.) Chances are high another diner will comp your meal.
2. Go see a crowded show.
Head to your nearest box office or ticketing hub and see what’s on the marquee. Often busy theaters shows only have discounted single seats available at the last minute. Take advantage of not needing two together, and enjoy that dramedy you’ve been meaning to see for a while. Warning: You may find yourself wedged in between couples who paid far more than you did. Try not to smirk.
3. Help out a fellow single.
Once you’ve given up on waiting for your own bad date, hit the town in search of another unlucky lover. Pop you head into a few coffee shops and bars. Find someone who’s sitting alone and looking around. Approach and ask nicely if they’ve been stood up — after all, it’s pretty common. If so, ask to join them. Joy loves company.
4. Practice self-care.
If you suddenly find yourself in this situation, you might as well go full solo. Stop by your nearest beauty supply store and grab every mask, enchanted pore cleanser, and mystically infused bath bomb you can carry. Light a scented candle that costs as much as your date would have, and descend into the bliss that is curam sui. Make peace with your soul as you focus on the one and only person who showed up for your evening.
5. Get stopped by a director and become their muse.
You’re already rocking your most attractive outfit and have actually washed your hair, so this one is an easy hack. Leave the bad vibes of a no-show behind, and as you walk, nay strut, through your city, catch the eye of a famous film director. They see the pain, the strength, and the pure passion you carry. Instantly they realize you’re the person they’ve been looking for this whole time. You officially forget about your non-date and live a life of fame and fortune.
6. Save a life.
You’re feeling blue, because you’re unexpectedly on your own. You peer across the table where your date should be, but instead see a little old lady across the restaurant choking on her meal. You leap to action and perform the heimlich maneuver. She thanks you profusely. The EMTs marvel at how you avoided breaking any ribs or causing any bruising. You are awarded the key to the city. In your acceptance speech, you praise your date for their absence. If they had been sitting there, you’d never have seen what was happening, and lovely Mrs. Buttersworth wouldn’t be here today.
7. Thank your date.
After you experience hours of fun, it’s always a nice touch to thank the person responsible for making it happen. Text your non-date, “I had fun tonight! Let’s do this again soon” and leave them to revel in confusion as you post your Insta story of the epic evening.