Finding someone you like enough to date — and vice versa — is hard enough, but it can be even more difficult to know when the right time is to get more serious. While there’s no one-size-fits-all approach, the first step is learning the difference between the immediate closeness many of us feel when we first crush out and what it means to really get to know the other person. Have you fought and each admitted it was totally your fault? Have you seen each other get sick? These are but a couple of signs that you are building a foundation of trust with the person you are seeing.
Other clues may lie in astrology, specifically your moon sign, which indicates the way you feel your emotions and the pace at which you show them. The moon describes our relationship to and capacity for intimacy, vulnerability, and closeness.
If you know your time of birth, you can get a free copy of your birth chart, including your moon sign, on my website. Here’s what it means for you.
Moon In Aries
You’re enthusiastic about beginnings and prefer to be the one who facilitates intimacy. You like to be the center of a romantic interest’s attention and enjoy feeling like you’re being pursued, desired, and prioritized. When you find someone who enjoys your enthusiasm more often than they’re overwhelmed by it, you’ll know you’ve got a good one on your hands. Forge ahead.
Moon In Taurus
You know what you want and can develop very fixed ideas about how a person is supposed to show up, which may get in your way when first getting to know someone. Slow and steady tends only to feel OK when you know that the person you’re dating really likes you. Wait until you know that you have a shared sense of values — then you’ll be ready to get serious.
Moon In Gemini
You’re curious, playful, and tend to rush into things, which means it takes conscious effort to make sure your ideas about a person or dynamic aren’t half-baked. You’re often juggling crushes — and that’s A-OK. But wait until someone occupies your interests more than anyone else to think about becoming exclusive.
Moon In Cancer
This moon placement is ever so emotional, and that means that you feel everything. Your desire for closeness can be at odds with your desire to protect yourself. And while it’s tempting to rush to convert lovers into partners because of how uncomfortable you find getting to know new people, learning to like without rushing an attachment will serve you well.
Moon In Leo
True to your fire sign ways, you love when things move fast. Because you’re motivated to keep things light and fun, it can be difficult for you to let people in. You’ll know you’re onto something when you’re willing to allow the person you’re dating really get to know you.
Moon In Virgo
You’re very thoughtful about your emotions, which can lead to overthinking or shyness when getting to know new people. You tend to make assumptions, so it’s important that you take time to listen to what your crush is actually telling you about how they think and feel. Only then will you’ll know whether this person can give you what you want based on where you’re currently at.
Moon In Libra
You tend to let people into your life quickly, which can be good or bad depending on whether the person you’re dating is actually worthy of your trust. Either way, you may get so wrapped up in having a nice time that you almost forget to be yourself. Only when you let that come out — and that includes speaking up when you disagree about something — are you on the road to something real.
Moon In Scorpio
Your emotions run deep, which can lead to obsessive crushes, compulsive emotions, and possessiveness. You also get jealous at times — don’t take the next steps in your relationship until you’re sure you can trust your partner with your feelings.
Moon In Sagittarius
If dating was a menu, you would choose the buffet. You’re more likely to rush in than to hold back or exercise patience and have a tendency to leap to conclusions about the synchronicities you experience with others. When someone shows up for you in the slower, less magical times, too, it’s worth ditching your self-restraint and diving in.
Moon In Capricorn
You don’t like to be vulnerable, which can make you appear uninterested, even when you’re super excited about someone. You also tend to be outcome-oriented in all things, so when you stop focusing on dating benchmarks and notice you’re happy in the present, you’ll know it’s time to forge ahead.
Moon In Aquarius
You can be watchful of your own emotions, which may make you come across as a bit aloof at first. Once you’re comfortable with a crush, you’ll start to relax and your delightful quirkiness will begin to shine through. The goal is for you both to feel emotionally safe and free.
Moon In Pisces
You’re tender-hearted and genuinely willing to compromise but would do well to stay present in the here and now. Taking things slowly allows you to figure out what you really feel both about the person you’re dating and the dynamic itself. Be careful to stay connected to your own needs in the process of getting close to someone.
Jessica Lanyadoo is the author of the new book, “Astrology for Real Relationships: Understanding You, Me, and How We All Get Along.” Purchase your copy here.