Picture it: You just Liked the person of your dreams. After a few messages, they hit you with, “What’s your sign?” You answer with hesitance, because you do not believe in the cosmos (you’re a person of reason, not astrology). Do you continue the conversation?
Don’t be so quick to dismiss. You can surely date someone who is into astrology when you know little to nothing about the subject — or don’t believe in it at all.
Don’t count astrology out yet.
Although you may consider reliance on the zodiac ridiculous, it’s also possible that you’ll discover some level of interest in the metaphysical when listening to your match’s rants about retrogrades and full moons. Astrology may start to make sense to you in an intellectual way — meaning, you will begin to see why so many people use it as a tool to understand themselves these days.
Matt, 26, an astrological non-believer, recognizes that astrology has, for better or for worse, become part of the dating world. “The majority of people I have met on dating apps ask me for my zodiac sign,” he says. “It doesn’t offend me. If someone believes in astrology — then, good for them. I do not. I think it’s fascinating that some people are super impassioned by it, though. But, it’s not a deal breaker or a deal maker — just something they are interested in.”
Even if you don’t commit to drinking the full cup of celestial Kool-Aid, you may find it attractive that this person is passionate about their spiritual beliefs. All that is to say, give it a chance.
Show an interest.
You might not be a huge fan of country music or have ever traveled to France. But if you’re chatting with someone who has had these experiences, you wouldn’t just ignore them. The same is true with astrology. You may not believe that it is the be all, end all of analyzing oneself, but you can still try to understand the mythology behind the planets and zodiac signs. You might ask your match why astrology appeals to them, whether they think they fit the profile or their sign, and if you match up to the expectations of your sign.
“I don’t fully prescribe astrology, but my girlfriend does,” says Dan, 29. “She tells me all the time that I’m such a Capricorn. It’s become a joke between us. I only roll my eyes when she talks about Mercury being in retrograde and how she can’t partake in certain events during that time.”
Jeremy, 33, whose partner is an astrologer, doesn’t fully believe in astrology either. “Do I think astrology is the ultimate explanation of existence? No,” he says. “I don’t ask many questions about it. [But] I adore my partner, so I find the humor in it. I don’t criticize and just listen. In return, she’s not extremely fanatical in talking about how astrology completes the world.”
Be willing to engage.
“Just like with everything in dating, it is a two-way street,” says astrologer Narayana Montufar. “If you haven’t been exposed to this concept [of astrology] at all, you shouldn’t immediately form an opinion about it.”
As an astrologer, I tell my clients who are dating non-believers, they need to find a common ground. Compromise is essential in any relationship — one with an astrology buff is no exception. Perhaps you see a funny astrology meme in a friend’s IG story that makes you laugh and you can pass on to show the person you’re dating that you are thinking about them. Or, even if you are unlikely to be affected by the outcome, consider getting a joint or solo reading to get a better idea of what astrology actually entails. All you have to lose is a little time.
Find mutual interests.
No matter how into the stars a person is, it’s a safe bet that they have other interests outside of astrology. Ask questions about their favorite movies or books. Dig into their goals. Discuss work. Talk about your childhood. Chances are you have some things in common — and if you don’t, that, not their love of astrology, is a good reason not to pursue anything. I am a professional astrologer and I have interests outside of the cosmos (TBH, I don’t like talking about astrology when I’m not working). I am fascinated by photography and street art, and I’m a movie buff. I’m passionate about learning new things and having adventures — all of this makes me well-rounded enough to talk about more than the stars. I’d take a bet that anyone you really want to date is the same.