It’s happened to all of us before. You stumble upon someone irresistible, but when you get to their bio you find there’s something missing: There’s no natural icebreaker to inspire your opening line. Not everyone is an open book and that’s OK, but it means you’ll have to work harder for what you want. Hey, maybe that was their plan all along. 

The lack of an obvious icebreaker can actually work in your favor. Chances are everyone else is grasping at straws to find an opener, and they’re forced to resort to “hey.” If you get creative, you can easily stand out from the crowd. So, don’t stare into space too long thinking of what to say…you’ve already got the upper hand. Just keep these types of openers in your back pocket.

1. No bio? Ask them why not.

Not everyone got the memo that filling out your bio is important. Instead of lingering in silence send them a flirty message: “Why so mysterious?” and see if they can fill the void. 

2. Give them two lies and a truth.

You don’t always need a hefty bio to come up with something to say. Throw out a fact and two lies about yourself and ask your match to guess which one is real. This bold move can grab their attention right out of the gate. 

3. Compliment their pictures.

You obviously saw something you like, so why not let them know? Compliment one of their less prominent photos and let them know you like their style. “Cool shades bro, where did you get them?” Or “Nice shot — where were you guys?” will give you two something to talk about it. 

4. Just admit you’re not sure what to say.

Honesty is the best policy, and it can be a nice break from the unoriginal “Hey what’s up?” messages. Why not try, “I know I want to talk to you, but I’m not sure what to say. I’m open to suggestions, got any?” and take it from there.

5. Be funny

Got jokes? Well, this is the time to bring ’em out. Use your wit to nab some cool points and get the convo started. Keep it clean, make it original, and if sarcasm is your second language, then show off your fluency.

good tinder opening lines

6. Invite them to a game of truth or dare. 

If talking isn’t their thing, maybe a game of truth or dare will get them to open up. Plan your move with questions and dares that are easy to execute. 

And if you’re stumped just post-opener:

7. Change the subject. 

So your opener about ketchup versus mustard didn’t land well, don’t fret — you can still come out of this on top. Perhaps the other person isn’t giving you anything to work with because your subject of choice is meh. If you’ve already gone through the basic “where you from” questions, it may be time to move on to something slightly more riveting. Just turn to the news if you draw a blank…

8. Ask them when they’re free to chat frfr. 

Hey, if you got a one-word response to your award-winning opening line and they didn’t ask a question to keep the convo flowing, they may be preoccupied. Be bold: Ask them when they’re down to talk for real and schedule yourself a mini online date.

9. Ask them a personal question

Keep it clean and keep it relevant. A question about how close you are to your parents is fair game, but asking when the last time they had sex may be a bit too personal for this early juncture. You don’t want to throw them off their game, you want to get to know them better.

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