Casual dating predates the internet, and simply put, it’s the getting-to-know -you phase. But heads up: it hasn’t changed to mean you get to do whatever the fuck you want. No, that definition is reserved for the word asshole. If you have a hard time showing up and being accountable for your actions, you aren’t casually dating, you’re being selfish.

As it turns out, you’re probably in more relationships than you think: The long-term relationships you have with your family and friends, and the casual relationships with people like your dentist, all come with some form of commitment. And, since commitment can be a total drag, it’s understandable that many of us are looking for short-term relationships sans pressure. Please don’t get it twisted though — you may not be obligated to go to someone’s birthday party, but you are still obligated to act like a human and not a fuckin’ monster. Say whaaa? Yes. That is correct — even casual flings come with expectations.

A person who doesn’t give a fuck is someone who refuses to be accountable for their actions and just comes and goes without ever providing any real boundaries. This person underachieves in every aspect of the relationship: They show up late, cancel plans when they should already be somewhere, and pull frequent disappearing acts. If this were your dentist, they would drop you immediately because frankly, there are plenty of people out there that will respect their time.

If you’ve gone on several dates and you decide you’re over it, then you need to provide that information to the person you’re seeing — you may not be obligated to give an explanation, but you need to put in notice. My Lyft driver and I had a very casual relationship this morning that lasted 18 minutes. At no point did I jump out of the car, but since we’re casual, I knew I had that option as long as I let him know that I needed some permanent space. I also didn’t randomly call an Uber; I respected our time together and knew that if I was jonesin’ for an Uber, I would just have to wait until we were finished with our ride. You see where I’m going with this, right? Be a normal person and communicate with the person you’re seeing. If you’re giving your Lyft drivers more respect than the person you’re sleeping with, you need to add the word “Fuckboy” to your dating app profile so people know what they’re getting into.