It seems like every day that a new dating term emerges from the ether — usually in the form of some variation of ghosting or the afterlife. It’s a good thing, too, because what would dating be without having a phrase to match your current state of seeing someone (or lack thereof)? So, being the trendy mofo that I am, I’ve hopped on the train and added some much-needed words to the long list. Please hold while I take a bow.

Dracula-ing: When the person who only surfaces in the dead of night hits you with a “u up?” text.

Exagger-date: The act of embellishing a date so as to suggest it went way better than it actually did.

Bird Boxing: Being blind to just how bad your partner/the person you’re seeing/the idiot you hook up with is.

Buzz-erflies: The feeling you get when your phone buzzes, and it’s the maybe-special someone you’ve been waiting to hear from all day.

Deflexting: When someone blatantly ignores a question you ask via text (like, “when are we hanging next?”) and brings up a totally different subject, thus making you feel awkward.

S.O. stalemate: When neither party will start the define-the-relationship conversation, leading to no relationship progress whatsoever.

Insta-gator: The person who initiates contact or first publicizes a relationship via social media by tagging, DM-ing, or posting a photo of you two. Can be good or bad.

Three-dot disappearing act: The act of starting to type a message and then stopping, causing the three dots in your conversation to keep vanishing and popping up in a wholly torturous cycle.

iPhony: The person who constantly says, “I’ll text you!” but never makes good on their promise.