The days are longer, the ice has melted, and your DMs are heatin’ up. This can only mean one thing: Spring has arrived! As you change your wardrobe from cold to hot, it’s time to do the same with your matches.
In a perfect world, all bios would be filled out and include an icebreaker that could easily spark a conversation, but we aren’t living in a perfect world. You want to say something, you just don’t know what. Don’t let the vulnerability of messaging someone first leave you typing a simple “hey.” Instead, try these eight fresh ways to forge a connection.
Instead of: “Hey, how’s it going?”
Consider: Your match thinks Aperol Spritzes deserve more love than they get, and who could blame them? Let them know you’re down for the cause, too and see if they’ll join you for a round.
And try: “I see you love an Aperol Spritz. I know where they make the best AP in town. I’ll tell you where it is, but first you gotta tell me — wine glass or Collins glass?”
Instead of: “I like your pics.”
Consider: Feelin’ their style? Get specific.
And try: “You’ve got great style. Maybe we can head to the flea market so you can Tan France me. I need to level up my wardrobe, and you clearly know how to French tuck.”
Instead of: “What are you doing tonight?”
Consider: You’re coming in hot. That’s cool and all, but you’re missing the substance.
And try: “I’d love to skip the small talk and meet IRL. Judging by your pics, you’re prob busy doing cool shit tonight. Why don’t you let me know a day that works for us to be cool together?”
Instead of: “Hi”
Consider: It’s an oldie, but it’s not a goodie. We respect your desire to keep it simple, but maybe put in more than two letters’ worth of effort.
And try: “It’s obvious I find you attractive, so now I want to know what makes you interesting. Tell me: What did you have for breakfast today?”
Instead of: “Hey beautiful”
Consider: You’ve just given your match the annoying task of having to come up with a reply without much to go on.
Try: “The Sistine Chapel, all Beyoncé performances, and you — what do they all have in common? They’re masterpieces that I’d like to see in person.”
Instead of: “Follow me on Instagram”
Consider: If you connect your Insta, you’ll never need to slide into a match’s messages with this bold request. But presuming that’s not your style…
And try: “I know you’re probably wondering if I have an Instagram. Yes, I do. Not sure if I’m ready for you to follow me, though. I’d rather take it slow and have you get to know the real me first — but feel free to check me out on the low for now.”
Instead of: “Do you really work at ____?”
Consider: You picked up on something that’s grabbed your attention, but phrasing it with a layer of doubt may get you silence in response.
And try: “Good looks AND a cool job? You’re the total package! What’s it like working at ____?”
Instead of: “Where u from?”
Consider: You’re trying to start the getting-to-know-you process ASAP, but you may need to lead with something a little cheekier to grab their attention. How about a throwback?
And try: “a/s/l?”