Are you running around right now trying to find someone to spend these painfully cold months, aka cuffing season with? You are? OK, well stop before you pull a hammy. This isn’t necessary.
Cuffing season, a term used to describe an entire six(ish) months where you “couple up” with someone, only to inevitably break up when the warmer weather approaches, is a big fat lie *jazz hands*. For starters, it’s made up and, secondly, it’s designed to make single people feel bad, basically like a really long Valentine’s Day. So let me say this once and for all: Just because it’s winter doesn’t mean you need to be with someone. That is to say, cuffing season is trash, and here’s why you shouldn’t let it fuck with you.
1. It’s not that fun.
It’s not like coupled-up people are doing anything revolutionary or particularly exciting in the winter. They’re just eating and watching TV, which IMHO is much more fun when you can pick the food and show and not share or rewind.
2. It’s anxiety-inducing.
This is a temporary agreement. One day you’re in, and the next you’re out. Every day, you have a nagging reminder that in six months, you’ll either be broken up with or have to break up with someone. I’ll take my impending doom literally any other way, thank you.
3. It’s expensive.
Either you’re spending cash on Ubers to get to their place or spending double the amount on delivery when they come to yours. It’s simply not economical.
4. It’s a time and energy suck.
You think this situationship is casual (which it is), but your cute little insecurities creep up nonetheless, and oh, look, you’ve just wasted three hours overanalyzing why someone (who you won’t be with in two months) didn’t text you back but posted an Instagram story.
5. It encourages you to bury your feelings.
Remember: This isn’t a legit relationship. It has a definite expiration date (not like Trader Joe’s Everything Bagel Seasoning, which never expires in life and my heart).There’s no time for talking about your feelings, and when you bury those guys, you get the sads, feel stressed, and end up with a face full of pimples.
6. You might end up settling.
The pressure to find someone, anyone, makes it more likely that you’ll settle for an asshole with a trash-can personality (or at least someone who you’re not terribly compatible with). Why spend time with someone who is the human version of a Brussels sprout (sucks and is hard to digest)?
7. You don’t even get to flaunt this person to your family.
You’re not going to show up to family dinner and say, “Hey Mom and Dad, I found a pseudo-S.O. who you can’t call my boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner, and we just have sex and eat ramen.” I’d rather be asked why I’m single than whether the reason I never answer the phone is because I’m always with my friend who is actually my secret boyfriend.