I just got out of an on-again off-again six month relationship. My friends have convinced me it would be a good idea to dust off my flirting skills and get back out there. So, tired of the pickup lines I keep hearing, I’ve decided to take my thumbs to my old friend, Tinder. I’m going with Tinder U this time around — that way, I know that prospective matches are close by, and we might even have mutual friends. With an updated profile and an open mind, I begin.
10:00 a.m. I wake up early and decide that I am going to treat Tinder like all of my other social media apps by checking it first thing. I’m not on my phone a lot throughout the day after my morning check, so keeping up might be difficult for me.
11:00 a.m. I notice a lot of cute guys. I don’t have a type, but let’s just say I’m looking to see which guys are in the art school. I also check to see if they have anthems on their profile — that says a lot about somebody. Usually, I go for guys who wear beanies and like Pink Floyd, but that hasn’t been working out so well for me, as I learned recently (yes, shade thrown). Okay, maybe I have a type.
12:00 p.m. I matched with someone! His name is Jacob, and he has a picture with a mini horse — how cute! He’s in urban planning in the art school and only two miles away. He doesn’t have any songs attached to his profile, but he has a picture taken in Chicago. I like Chicago. I decide to be bold and make the first move. A girl’s got to go for what she wants.
12:00 p.m. I continue to browse and see a few familiar faces. Jacob messages me back. I’m feeling hopeful!
2:00 p.m. Jacob is a quick responder, and he seems funny. I delve deeper into his profile and find his Instagram account. He takes pretty good photos, looks like he’s down for a good time, and keeps his feed updated. That’s what we like to see. Now I can actually show my friends a decent picture of him that’s not from 2015.
3:00 p.m. I like Jacob but, like I said, I need to keep my options open. I continue browsing and even Super Like™ Sam. We match right away. My attention span is pretty short when it comes to my phone, so I decide to message him tomorrow. Same with Jacob. I don’t want to seem too eager.
2:00 p.m. I reply to Jacob, but I am really bad at making conversation, so I start small by asking him where he goes to school (an obvious question). To be honest, he isn’t really keeping the conversation going either, and he might get ghosted. I don’t like having to carry a whole conversation on my back.
4:00 p.m. I match with Fisher. He is probably one of the most beautiful men I have ever laid eyes on. He has a nose ring and interesting style, wears a beanie, and his connected Instagram has pictures of his artwork. Wow, I am actually very excited. This is actually my dream man. I quickly message him with a “hey there :).”
6:00 p.m. I’m giving up the little bit of hope I have left on Jacob. I message Sam — I hope he responds with a bit more enthusiasm than Jacob has been.
7:00 p.m. Sam messages me back! He’s a good conversationalist.
11:00 p.m. Jacob messages me back and tells me he is in urban planning (I already knew that due to some social-media stalking, but figured I’d ask to keep the conversation going). He asks me my major (thanks for the prompt, Jacob!) I tell him I’m a communications major and that I want to work for a magazine. He’s starting to get back in my good graces.
10:00 p.m. It’s nice that Sam has kept me updated. Also, it’s really cool to hear he does community service. My dad volunteers for Habitat for Humanity, and I like that he does, too.
11:00 a.m. I check my messages and find nothing new. Maybe Sunday is the day of Tinder rest — or something like that. I still haven’t heard from Fisher, and my fantasy of an art-school boyfriend is beginning to fade.
10:00 p.m. Still no response from Sam or Jacob, but I have landed a lot of new matches. I send some friendly messages and even get a few pickup lines dropping in my inbox. I never really know how to respond to them besides with a laughing emoji, but some are actually really clever.
11:00 p.m. Mondays are always pretty crazy for me, so I don’t go on Tinder until I get in bed. I message Sam back and explain to him the dad and volunteer connection. I also ask if his work is for a class or himself. Then, I message Jacob back, and we bond over our love of the music magazine, “Complex.” Jacob is starting to look like a good match.
7:00 p.m. I respond to Sam quickly, but I want to take a break today. My ex reached out to me — I decided it would be best to do some self-care and catch up on homework. I put on my favorite face mask and watch an entire season of “Queer Eye” on Netflix.
11:00 a.m. Okay, so Sam has claimed that volunteering is annoying. Ew. Like I said, Jacob is looking like the best option right now. He’s gotten better at chatting, and I actually look forward to talking to him. I stop responding to Sam. He seems nice, but after his last comment, I just don’t think we’re that compatible. I am excited to see what Jacob says when he responds.
11:30 p.m. I’m out with friends at our favorite Wednesday spot. Who do I see? Jacob. I almost spit my water out when I spot him and his friend going up on stage to sing karaoke. I am so nervous to say hi, but my friends push me out of our booth. I’m feeling good and have on an outfit that I am rather proud of. I slide up and say his name aloud to make sure it is him. We laugh at the fact that we somehow found each other here. He introduces me to his friends as a “girl he met on Tinder,” and we sing “Ice Ice Baby” together after we both claim to know every single word. We kill it, and he asks for my number.
1:00 p.m. Update on Fisher, my long-haired dream of a boyfriend whom I still haven’t heard from. I decide to be bold and follow him on Instagram, since my message clearly wasn’t doing anything. He follows me back — maybe it will lead to something. I still haven’t heard from Jacob, but we shall see.
Overall, I would rate this experience a 10/10. I like talking to new people, and having that foundation made it easier to go up to Jacob in person. I hope Jacob texts me, but in the meantime, I’m going to continue to use Tinder while I patiently wait for Fisher to message me back someday.