If your casual relationship is starting to take a serious turn, there may be a reason. Even if you’ve already had the DTR talk and agreed on keeping things light, actions speak louder than words: You can’t go to Home Depot together one day and then wonder why the other person is acting so needy the next.
Getting serious when you only asked for something casual is like eating the whole pizza when you only ordered a slice. The first slice tastes good, so you ask for more and more, but you know you won’t feel good when you realize you don’t have room for anything else.
You may not be able to control the other person’s feelings, but an open dialogue throughout the relationship can keep both of you from ruining a good thing. All types of relationships develop on Tinder — serious, casual, and friendships — but it’s important to make sure you’re communicating the type of relationship your seeking. If it’s casual, make sure your actions are marrying up to your words and don’t act like you’re trying to put a ring on it. That is to say, stop doing these five things.
1. Sending daily texts about nothing
“How was your day?” None of your business. This information is reserved for serious contenders only. When you’ve already agreed to keep things casual, an innocent text message could send the wrong message, and that’s not fair to the other person. If you want to know how someone’s day is, ask your parents — they’ll be happy to hear from you and likely won’t get their signals crossed.
2. Morphing into a “we”
There’s no “we” without feels, and there’s no room in a casual relationship for the world’s most misleading pronoun, especially when you agreed to be non-exclusive. Again, this can send the wrong message and end with hurt feelings. You are two individuals that just so happen to be hanging out together. So, whether it’s a server asking you whether you’d prefer still or sparkling or your homies asking you what you’re doing tonight, remember — you have your own plans.
3. Saying you’re “open” to having a relationship with the right person
Sure, I too like to believe that I’m not dead inside. If my soulmate appeared on Tinder, would I be open to having a relationship with that person? No, I would probably Nope them because they used too many exclamation points in their bio. I know this because I’m not open to having a serious relationship no matter how much I want to want one. If this sounds like you, then please refrain from giving people false hope.
4. Introducing them to members of your family
Sometimes it’s unavoidable to have your friends meet your casual flame. But, there’s no need to drag them to your cousin’s wedding or meet your folks when they come to town. That’s confusing AF and definitely can lead to both mixed signals and a random person popping up in your family photo album.
5. Making plans for the distant future
“You’ve never been to Death Valley? We should totally go…” Maybe that’s true, but you sure as shit shouldn’t be saying it. This isn’t to say you can’t make a plan to hang out next week, but throwing plans into the ether makes it seem like you’ll be together for an extended period of time. That’s weaksauce — keep it spontaneous unless you plan on being a semi-permanent fixture in their life.