If you’re anything like me, you hate being ignored with a passion more fiery than that of 1,000 packets of Taco Bell Diablo Sauce. I’ve gotten a lot better with experience and maturity (and tons of therapy), but there was a time when, if I felt I wasn’t getting the attention I felt I deserved, I’d morph into the woman that men would later tell their new girlfriend about and say, “but you are so much more chill than her.”
One time, an ex didn’t return my calls or texts for hours. After doing a bit of digging (read: stalking) on Instagram, I discovered that he was home with his friends having what looked like a party. Without me. So, I did what any attention-deprived 21-year-old would do. I popped up at his apartment unannounced to see what the fuck was good. His response? “Yeah, I didn’t invite you because you’ve been a lot to deal with lately. I needed a bit of space.” Sure, he could’ve told me that instead of ignoring me, but his feelings were valid. It was not a cute time for me; however, we’ve all been there and have lived and (hopefully) grown to tell the tale.
Maybe you’re someone who still becomes the most elaborate version of yourself when the person you like or are dating goes rogue. You are not alone. Take a deep breath. Don’t follow that train of thought that’s telling you to do a quick drive by their best friend’s house to ask if they know their whereabouts. It’s never as satisfying as you think it’ll be, and it only hurts you in the end. Instead, check out these embarrassing things people have done to get their boos’ attention, so you don’t have to.
“A guy once mentioned on a date that he was going to be at a bar with his friends a few days later. When I didn’t hear from him after the date, my friend and I decided that it was a good idea to stage a casual run-in with him at the place he said he’d be. He wasn’t the most pleasantly surprised to see me — you could see it all over his face. We hung out for a bit, but he definitely knew my being there wasn’t random — it was way too much of a ‘coincidence.’ I still cringe when I think about it.” —Mia, 26*
“He wasn’t interested in me anymore and I could sense it. I texted him to tell him I’d just been diagnosed with cancer. He felt awful and agreed to meet for lunch. I didn’t have cancer.” —Nick, 28*
“I was seeing a guy who was super into basketball and trying to seal the relationship deal. I spent $800 on Miami Heat tickets and took him, only for him to friend-zone me afterwards. Yes, I paid $800 for a new friend.” —Alexander, 29*
“We were on a group vacay, and my boyfriend at the time was bro-ing out super hard and totally ignoring me. One day while we were at the beach, I started swimming in the ocean and got the genius idea to pretend I was drowning so he would save me. He came in and got me, but then continued to bro out when he saw I was fine. We didn’t last much longer. ” —Alexis, 27*
“This guy I was seeing slowly started to ghost me, so I got hammered and wrote a poem on a napkin telling him I was pregnant and left it on his doorstep. I wasn’t pregnant. Awkward. Having to tell him I wasn’t pregnant and [was] just trying to get his attention? More awkward.” —Tati, 27*
*Names have been changed to protect innocent daters everywhere.