Sometimes, a person royally fucks up on a date. And sometimes, that person is you. It’s the kind of thing that keeps you up at night — you’re trying to fall asleep but can’t stop thinking about the farting incident of 2010. Well, you’re in good company. Behold, the absolutely atrocious things we have done on a first date.
“I was on a date with this guy and was so uninterested that I texted another guy while I was there. I made an excuse, left early to meet up with him, and, on my way there, threw the flower the first guy got me away.” —Sophie, 26
“I started talking shit about girls who go on dates with other girls but haven’t come out to their families yet. The girl I was out with just stared blankly at me and was like, ‘So, me?’ Oops.” —Bethany*, 25
“This guy I was out with told me he worked in toilet paper sales and wouldn’t shut up about it. At one point, he went to the bathroom and, when he came back, made it a point to comment on the quality and softness of the toilet paper. Drunk me took that as him telling me he shat on our date and was telling me about it, so I shit-shamed him. I yelled, ‘You totally just shat on our date, and I bet you didn’t even wash your hands, did you?’ I literally don’t know where that came from, but he was embarrassed.” —Courtney, 26
“I was so bored on a date that I just started answering with a mix of facts about friends and random people I’ve met. He left thinking I was an interpretive dance major with grandparents who lived in Colombia.” —Nicole*, 25
“I went out with this guy who told me he loves cereal. I thought it was quirky, so I was like, ‘Ok, cool, I’ll go with it.’ But then he started talking passionately about cereals and showed me pictures of the art in his house — all paintings of cereal. I literally spat out my drink and laughed in his face, only stopping to say, ‘I’m sorry, it’s just so weird.’ Yikes.” —Lane*, 26
“There have been multiple times where I’ve invited people back to my place after a date. One woman had really dry skin on her back and it freaked me out. Another didn’t seem clean, so I made her leave. I do feel guilty that I made those women feel bad about themselves, though.” —Samantha, 28
*Names have been changed.