After my recent breakup, I joined Tinder as a newly single, bisexual woman. American University, where I am a freshman, is a few metro stops outside of the heart of D.C., so I set my location range to 25 miles. I figure that a city with a boundless supply of things to do and a large, diverse population is a great place to get back into the dating game. I’m super excited to get started.
12:00 p.m. The suitable straight males on American’s campus are seldom found, so I find myself matching with more women than men. I’m surprised by how many matches I’m getting in such a short amount of time.
4:30 p.m Wow, I have so many unopened messages to read. It’s like Christmas. I start talking to Jason*, and I’m immediately impressed with his cheesy pickup line introduction.
11:44 p.m. Jason is telling me about law school and his dreams of becoming an international human rights lawyer. This is my dream man. Oh, and did I mention his beautiful, deep brown eyes, washboard abs, and the fact that he’s 6’2”? Hook, line, and sinker.
9:00 a.m Jason messages me, “hey gorgeous” and I reply with “heyyy” — just enough Ys to let him know he has my attention.
9:30 a.m. It seems a little early to be full-on chatting with people, but Jason’s message got me excited to talk to my other matches. My bio says “chicken nugget enthusiast” so I get a lot of messages about where the best nuggs are. Ally* asks me just that, and I’m immediately on board. She’s stunning. She’s also on the basketball team, and the thought of seeing her at games is enthusing. We start talking about a restaurant near campus she’s never been to. I see a date in the foreseeable future.
1:23 p.m. I receive three messages from typical Chads. I am not enthusiastic about their unoriginal and very similar openings. Each were worthy of no response.
8:37 a.m. I wake up to a message from Lindy*, who asks for my Snapchat. It seems a bit elementary, but I go along with it and give her my username. We start snapping, but there’s not much conversation. I leave her on read and wait to see if anything happens.
11:55 a.m. Ally and I are talking about the political landscape of American’s campus and D.C. in general. American is the most politically active campus in the U.S., so politics is a topic that comes up almost as frequently as where you’re from. I like her. A LOT.
12:12 p.m. Hassan* and I match, and I’m intrigued to say the least. His bio reads “world traveler, gym fanatic, tattoo lover.” Interesting.
8:34 p.m. Lindy hasn’t reached out again, but I do get another message from Jason. Finally. He asks, “why’d you ghost me?” Oh please, Jason. It’s hardly been 24 hours. He seems like a sensitive man though, which I like to see, so I tell him I was busy.
5:30 p.m. After taking a break to catch up on schoolwork, I come back to some messages. I’m planning to go to a club in D.C. tonight and tell Jason to meet me there later. I’m not usually this forward — it’s definitely a step out of my comfort zone. We’ll see how this goes.
6:17 p.m. I message Elias* because his bio is entirely in Arabic, and I speak Arabic. I don’t have the right keyboard so transliteration (Arabic words with English letters) is the next best option. He seems well-travelled and highly educated. We start talking politics and find we share similar views and values. He asks for my number, and I give it to him.
8:13 p.m. My friends and I are getting ready to go out and Jason texts, “excited to see you babe.” Babe? Seems a bit forward, but I play along and send him “me too *winky face*.”
11:37 p.m. I’m at the club with a few girlfriends, and we are dancing like crazy. I message Jason to ask when he plans to come and find out he’s already there. We meet up in a quieter area, start talking about school, and I remember he goes to George Washington University. We hit it off, and he asks if I want to dance. I tell him that I always want to dance, and we head to the heart of the party.
10:44 a.m. I gave Jason my number last night, and he texts me today, “I had a lot of fun dancing last night, what are you doing this weekend?” I’m not planning on much this weekend, so I tell him I’m free. We plan a date for Friday night. Lindy finally snaps me and also asks if I’m free this weekend. I say I’m not because she hasn’t messaged me with anything worthy of a reply since we matched on Sunday. Thank u, next. Elias also messages me “good morning gorgeous,” and my heart flutters. We talk for the rest of the morning about classes but the conversation ends there.
1:14 p.m. Cole* and Hailey* pop up on my message feed. Cole sends a GIF of Nick Jonas waving, and I’m automatically into him. His pictures are from some beautiful places around the world, and he has the sweetest smile. I also appreciate the comical beginning of our conversation. Hailey asks me what my star sign is. Uh oh, she’s a Leo and I’m a Sagittarius. We are NOT compatible. I know from experience. It seems ridiculous, but star signs indicate personality, and I leave her on read.
2:55 p.m. Ally asks me out. We plan a date for Saturday afternoon.
4:33 p.m. Jason and I have been texting all day, and I am excited to go out with him tomorrow. My conversation with Hassan isn’t going very well. All he talks about is his workout routine and current job as a SoulCycle instructor. I’m bored and find myself asking all the questions. Unimpressive.
5:13 p.m. I get a message from Cole asking what my favorite museum in D.C. is. I tell it’s him the Museum of Women in the Arts. He agrees with my choice but is a personal fan of the National Museum of American History. Also a good choice, but the accurate representation of women in power is my cup of tea. The conversation is light until he shifts into too-personal territory. This conversation comes to a sudden end. Cole is officially ghosted.
10:22 a.m. I gave Ally my number yesterday, and we’ve now been talking for four days. I am really looking forward to our date tomorrow. We decide to go to Nando’s, a restaurant she has yet to try.
12:44 p.m. Ally tells me her practice schedule is “killing her,” and Jason sends a picture of his dog.
8:34 a.m. Ally texts me “can’t wait to see you today.”
6:22 p.m. I am super nervous to meet Ally, but I am really looking forward to getting to know her. She arrives right on time, and we order our food and sit down. The conversation comes easily, and the silences aren’t awkward. She tells me about her childhood and time on the basketball team. We talk about our majors and class schedules, family, friends, and future plans. I am so into her.
10:23 a.m. Ally and I have been texting all day, and I’m excited to see where this could go. I plan to go to her basketball game this week, and we make plans for next weekend. Eek! I’m happy.
12:44 p.m. I get a new message from Zack*. Compared to Ally, I don’t really care. I was kind of bitchy to a guy who was just trying to put himself out there. Oops, moving on.
2:13 p.m. Jason texts me “so excited to see you tonight.”
7:22 p.m. Jason and I meet up at a restaurant near the Washington Monument. Our conversation is kind of stiff and awkward. I’m confused as to why it’s so uncomfortable since our night at the club was so much fun. I find myself asking a lot of questions, and he rambles a lot. I leave pretty quickly after the date ends, feeling very unsatisfied. He reaches out a few more times, but our spark has fizzled. I don’t reply.
But it’s hard to be too disappointed when Ally and I are so into each other. We aren’t exclusive or anywhere near it yet, but I’m excited to see where things go.
*Names have been changed to protect innocent daters everywhere.