If you only want to date me for my looks — thank you. I take it as a compliment, and it means we’re off to a great start. If you think I’m beautiful, then we already have one thing in common. And I like your style. Believe it or not, I don’t wake up like this. This takes time, effort, and commitment.

My looks may be the reason why you ask me out, but they’re not the reason you stick around. My beauty isn’t just in my appearance — it’s in my swagger, my style, and my confidence. Now that I’ve got your attention, the only thing left to do is be myself. And trust me, you will be wooed, you will be charmed, and you will be smitten. You’ll wonder if we’re in a throwback R&B song, because I will serenade you with jokes for days and street smarts you never saw coming. I don’t think you’re shallow for asking me out because you find me attractive. On the contrary — I think you’re pretty fucking smart.

If you ask me out because of my looks, you just got hotter to me. You think I’m attracted to people who don’t think I’m the shit? You are mistaken. I want you to want me, and I want you salivating over me because you just can’t get enough of this face, respectfully of course. There was a point where I hated what I saw in the mirror —from my kinky hair to my brown skin to my wide nose to my small frame. The work I put into my looks isn’t just physical. In fact, that’s the easy part. The amount of emotional labor I put in to find myself beautiful makes CrossFit look like child’s play. Even though I do it for the self-love, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to be rewarded in compliments and with a string of admirers.

If you decide to go out with me for my looks, then I find you fascinating. I don’t feel physical attraction based on looks alone. I need to see your mannerisms, hear your voice, and watch you closely. It only takes me a few moments to feel an emotional connection. I can find anyone attractive as long as I take the time to get to know and understand them. But I’m not an open book. if you want to see me again because you think I’m cute, then you’re helping me out by giving me time to work my magic. Now, start dropping some sexy lines about consent, riff about music with me, and watch my walls begin to retract — you’ve piqued my curiosity and everyone wins.

If you’re not dating me for my looks? Well, I question your taste.